Skip to content Skip to search

Republish This Story

* Please read before republishing *

We’re happy to make this story available to republish for free under an Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives Creative Commons license as long as you follow our republishing guidelines, which require that you credit The 19th and retain our pixel. See our full guidelines for more information.

To republish, simply copy the HTML at right, which includes our tracking pixel, all paragraph styles and hyperlinks, the author byline and credit to The 19th. Have questions? Please email [email protected].

— The Editors

Loading...

Modal Gallery

/
All donations doubled!

Menu

  • Our Mission
  • Our Team
  • Latest Stories
  • Search
  • Upcoming Events
  • Contact Us
  • Newsletter
  • Donate
  • Work With Us
  • Fellowships
    • From the Collection

      Changing Child Care

      Illustration of a woman feeding a baby a bottle
      • The full PUMP Act is now in effect. Here’s what it does for lactating parents.

        Chabeli Carrazana · April 28
      • 1 in 4 parents report being fired for work interruptions due to child care breakdowns

        Chabeli Carrazana · February 2
      • Washington, D.C., offers financial relief to local child care workers

        Orion Rummler · September 20
    • From the Collection

      Next-Gen GOP

      Illustration of a woman riding an elephant
      • Mayra Flores’ victory set a record for women in Congress. It also reflects the growing visibility of Republican Latinas

        Candice Norwood · June 21
      • A banner year for Republican women

        Amanda Becker · November 11
      • Republican women could double representation in the U.S. House

        Amanda Becker · November 4
    • From the Collection

      On The Rise

      Illustration of three women marching
      • A train derailment spilled toxic chemicals in her Ohio town. Now she’s running for mayor.

        Jessica Kutz · November 6
      • This Delaware candidate could be the first transgender member of Congress

        Orion Rummler · June 26
      • Can Cheri Beasley build a winning coalition in North Carolina?

        Candice Norwood · October 11
    • From the Collection

      Pandemic Within a Pandemic

      Illustration of four people marching for Black Lives Matter with coronavirus as the backdrop
      • Some LGBTQ+ people worry that the COVID-19 vaccine will affect HIV medication. It won’t.

        Orion Rummler · November 23
      • Why are more men dying from COVID? It’s a complicated story of nature vs. nurture, researchers say

        Mariel Padilla · September 22
      • Few incarcerated women were released during COVID. The ones who remain have struggled.

        Candice Norwood · August 17
    • From the Collection

      Portraits of a Pandemic

      Illustration of a woman wearing a mask and holding up the coronavirus
      • For family caregivers, COVID is a mental health crisis in the making

        Shefali Luthra · October 8
      • A new database tracks COVID-19’s effects on sex and gender

        Shefali Luthra · September 15
      • Pregnant in a pandemic: The 'perfect storm for a crisis'

        Shefali Luthra · August 25
    • From the Collection

      The 19th Explains

      People walking from many articles to one article where they can get the context they need on an issue.
      • The 19th Explains: How guns and domestic violence intersect in a Supreme Court case

        Jennifer Gerson · November 1
      • The 19th Explains: What to know about Ohio Issue 1

        Grace Panetta · October 16
      • The 19th Explains: The groundwork for a Supreme Court case on gender-affirming care is being laid now

        Orion Rummler · October 12
    • From the Collection

      The Electability Myth

      Illustration of three women speaking at podiums
      • Mayra Flores’ victory set a record for women in Congress. It also reflects the growing visibility of Republican Latinas

        Candice Norwood · June 21
      • Stepping in after tragedy: How political wives became widow lawmakers

        Mariel Padilla · May 24
      • Do term limits help women candidates? New York could be a new testing ground

        Barbara Rodriguez · January 11
    • From the Collection

      The Impact of Aging

      A number of older people walking down a path of information.
      • From ballroom dancing to bloodshed, the older AAPI community grapples with gun control

        Nadra Nittle, Mariel Padilla · January 27
      • 'I'm planning on working until the day I die': Older women voters are worried about the future

        Mariel Padilla · June 3
      • Climate change is forcing care workers to act as first responders

        Jessica Kutz · May 31
    • From the Collection

      The State of Our Nation

    • From the Collection

      Voting Rights

      A series of hands reaching for ballots.
      • Voting organizers are breathing ‘a deep sigh of relief’ over Supreme Court rulings on elections — for now

        Barbara Rodriguez · July 6
      • Ranked-choice voting is gaining momentum. So are efforts to stop it.

        Barbara Rodriguez · April 24
      • Connecticut voters approved early voting. Here’s how their new secretary of state wants to make it happen.

        Barbara Rodriguez · February 13

    View all collections

  • Explore by Topic

    • 19th Polling
    • Abortion
    • Business & Economy
    • Caregiving
    • Coronavirus
    • Education
    • Election 2020
    • Election 2022
    • Election 2024
    • Environment & Climate
    • Health
    • Immigration
    • Inside The 19th
    • Justice
    • LGBTQ+
    • Military
    • Politics
    • Press Release
    • Race
    • Sports
    • Technology

    View All Topics

Home
  • Our Mission
  • Our Team
  • Latest Stories
  • Search
  • Upcoming Events
  • Contact Us
  • Newsletter
  • Donate
  • Work With Us
  • Fellowships

We’re an independent, nonprofit newsroom reporting on gender, politics and policy. Read our story.

Fall Member Drive

Support the nonprofit news you trust through the critical moments that shape our democracy and our lives.

Donate Today

The 19th thanks our sponsors. Become one.

marine soldier pregnant wife 2017
Long deployments, especially during wartime, leave fewer chances for military couples to try conceiving. (ANDY HUFFAKER/AFP via Getty Images)

Military

‘They just gave up’: More than two-thirds of the military community report challenges to building a family

The largest annual military lifestyle survey found that the majority of respondents experienced challenges to having children — with women and LGBTQ+ service members disproportionately impacted.

Mariel Padilla

General Assignment Reporter

Mariel Padilla portrait

Published

2022-03-29 09:51
9:51
March 29, 2022
am

Share

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Email

For more than two decades, Kim Hunt was constantly on the move. Alongside her husband, now a retired Navy officer, Hunt moved 16 times across the United States and Europe. The couple had two daughters — pregnancies that were planned around whether her husband was on shore duty or sea duty — but they knew many other active-duty service members who struggled to conceive at all. 

Now, as associate director of research and training at Blue Star Families, a nonprofit founded in 2009 by military spouses, Hunt helps create, collect and analyze the largest annual military lifestyle survey. 

For the first time, the survey included specific questions to better understand family-building challenges among National Guardsmen, Reserve service members, veterans and their families. Hunt said that for several years, respondents would fill in open-ended questions with concerns about their families. 

The 19th thanks our sponsors. Become one.

“And the more we researched, the more we realized there was not really good quantitative data,” Hunt said. “There’s a lot of stories, which are very important, but there wasn’t this sort of handle on how deep this goes.” 

And when she saw the results, Hunt said she was surprised by just how deep it went: More than two-thirds of respondents said they had faced a family-building challenge at some point in their lives. And nearly half said military service, specifically, hindered their desired number of children or desired time between births. 

“We had 1,600 people willing to share their stories, and it was very humbling because they’re such personal stories,” Hunt said. “And so many people said that they just gave up finally, just stopped trying.” 

  • More from The 19th
    The photo of an Afghan woman hoping to flee Afghanistan sits with her application.
  • ‘You leave everything behind’: As bases end housing, Afghan women detail life as refugees in the United States
  • The only all-Black women’s unit sent to Europe during WWII is awarded a Congressional medal
  • What’s left undone 45 years after the National Women’s Conference

The final survey results include more than 8,000 members of the military community. The answers revealed widespread struggles: Women and LGBTQ+ service members were nearly twice as likely to mention family-building challenges, including tracking ovulation, taking hormone-based medication, trying in vitro fertilization or navigating adoption processes while continually moving across state lines. Some voiced concerns about the impact pregnancy might have on their careers. Active-duty service members are generally 17 to 40 years old, about the same range as the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) definition of “women of childbearing age.” 

“Pregnancy and postpartum recovery time affects a woman’s chances of promotion,” an active-duty Air Force service member wrote anonymously in her response. “Obligations of motherhood and military service commitment limit how many children I felt like I could have.”

Meagan Whalen, the deputy communications director of With Honor, a nonprofit organization led by veterans that focuses on electing veterans into public service, said the military community tends to remain silent on these kinds of personal challenges. 

“We in the military community have a mindset of facing challenges and rising to the occasion,” said Whalen, who grew up in a military family, constantly being uprooted. “I think this report will be really reaffirming for them and validating what they’ve experienced throughout their military service. And it’s so valuable in getting information out to the public, letting the civilian world into these nuances.” 

Many respondents described inadequate medical coverage for fertility-related treatments, financial difficulties or undue stress on relationships. But the most common obstacle to growing their families was “military commitments” and an “unstable military lifestyle.” Long deployments, especially during wartime, took their toll and left fewer chances for couples to try conceiving. The CDC defines “infertility” as the inability to get pregnant after at least one year of unprotected sex. However, meeting that criteria and accessing potential treatment is nearly impossible for many military families, who are often separated for months at a time. 

“We did IVF out of pocket and lost twins,” an active-duty Army spouse wrote. “We had to pay a loan for three years after. If we were able to afford the unlimited tries, we would have a baby together. Him being gone a lot is also a factor.” 

One Army veteran said: “We were beginning our third attempt at IVF when I was notified that I was deploying … By the time I returned from deployment, I was 46 and my wife was 43, and we determined that we had lost our last opportunity.” 

Another Reserve service member said she and her partner delayed having children together for a decade while they were both on active duty. When they ended up having children, they made sure the births were “very close together to be able to have them while we were stationed together.” But the only way they were able to stay together, she added, was for her to transfer to the reserves. 

Sign up for more news and context delivered to your inbox, daily

You have been subscribed!

Please complete the following CAPTCHA to be confirmed. If you have any difficulty, contact [email protected] for help.

Submitting…

Uh-oh! Something went wrong. Please email [email protected] to subscribe.

This email address might not be capable of receiving emails (according to Bouncer). You should try again with a different email address. If you have any questions, contact us at [email protected].

Another highly cited challenge was expensive out-of-pocket costs due to a lack of health insurance coverage. TRICARE, the health care program of the U.S. Department of Defense Military Health System, does not cover assisted reproduction. (In the civilian world, most states don’t require private insurers to provide infertility benefits). More than 10 percent of respondents with out-of-pocket expenses said they spent more than $35,000; 42 percent spent over $5,000; and nearly 70 percent spent at least $500. 

“We tried to conceive for three years before finally becoming pregnant on our fourth round of IVF,” an active-duty Air Force spouse wrote in response to the survey. “The military and TRICARE paid for none of it. We spent most of the money we had saved for a house down payment, around $40,000 in total.”

Another active-duty Air Force spouse said she and her spouse paid $800 for sperm, $200 for shipment and $300 for an IUI procedure each time they tried for a child. It took them five tries.

More than 10 percent of active-duty respondents said family-building challenges are one of the main reasons they’d leave the military. Members of Congress, including military veterans, are currently working on legislation related to military benefits, mental health, spousal employment, time away from family and pay and health care for dependents. Rep. Chrissy Houlahan recently spearheaded the passage of the Military Moms Matter Act to improve postpartum care for military families. Reps. Seth Moulton and Mariannette Miller-Meeks pushed for the passage of The Brandon Act, which strengthened mental health support for service members. And Rep. Jackie Speier penned a letter, signed by more than 140 of her Democratic colleagues, to urge the secretary of defense to eliminate for service members copays for contraceptive care.

“This is a time in which our veterans in Congress can make a distinctive difference,” Whalen said. “They aren’t just reading these numbers. They’ve experienced or have served with those who did, and they understand those unique challenges that military personnel, families and veterans go through.”

Share

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Email

Fall Member Drive

Support the nonprofit news you trust through the critical moments that shape our democracy and our lives.

Donate Today

Up Next

Sen. Gillibrand speaks to Sen. Blumenthal and Sen. Ernst outside the U.S. Capitol

Military

Congress had the votes to overhaul how the military handles serious crimes. Why didn’t it?

Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand says that despite rare bipartisan backing, ‘four men, in a closed room’ blocked long-sought changes to how the military handles sexual assault and other major justice issues.

Read the Story

The 19th
The 19th is a 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organization. Our stories are free to republish in accordance with these guidelines.

  • Donate
  • Newsletter
  • Events
  • Search
  • Jobs
  • Fellowships
  • Contact Us
  • About Us
  • Community Guidelines
  • Membership
  • Membership FAQ
  • Ways to Give
  • Sponsorship
  • Privacy
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Instagram